Sunday, April 22, 2012

Just A Little Scene: Created

She heard voices as she slowly awoke. She groaned and opened her eyes, waiting for her vision to shift into focus. She was laying on a bed, naked, numerous pads and wired and needles stuck into her. She also felt wet, as though she had just been pulled from a bath. Standing over her were several women and men in lab coats and doctor’s masks. A light shone done over her and its light was harsh to her eyes.

“Okay, here we are,” said one of the men. “She’s awake.” He pushed the light back and leaned over her. “Welcome to the world,” he said. “I am Dr. Kathix. I am one of your creators.”

She looked at him confused. “Creator?” she said, her voice sounding weak and strained.

“Yes,” he said. “Do you feel well enough to sit up?”

“I guess,” she said. Several hands grabbed her and helped her up. She felt weak, as though she’d been bedridden for several weeks. However, after a moment, she was able to orient herself, and she sat up without the need for support. Her thoughts were becoming clearer, and her awareness sharper. She looked around, and could make out the features of the doctors better, her eyes adjusting to the light. She was in a hospital room, with several machines beeping as they took readings of her pulse and who knows what else. The equipment wasn’t a standard heart monitor. There were a total of eight doctors surrounding her.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Think I'm Done For A While

As much as I'd like to keep producing new material on a regular basis, I've been consistently crapping out on story after story for a while now. I think honestly it's getting to the point where I've said pretty much all I'm going to when it comes to my sex fantasy stories: at this stage, I'm basically just constantly repeating myself. Yes, there are of course many directions and explorations I could take with Civero and the Sex Mage World, but those are fetishes and world building exercises best left to other authors who are more interested in them; I'm one of those writers that unless I get really inspired on an idea I'm not otherwise interested in, then its going to be too much of a chore to bother with.

On top of that, I've kind of lost focus on what kinds of stories I'm actually trying to tell here. The more I get into the greater mythos of this multiverse of erotica worlds, the more my stream of conscious writing keeps forgetting that titillation is the point of an erotica, not the world building or the wacky sci-fi/fantasy concepts. However, instead of focusing on making longer and more exciting scenes of teasing and sex, I find myself creating convoluted links between the various settings and creating anime and comic book-esque meta plots regarding the interconnections of the multiverse and the machinations of Dark Gods and Lust Demons and the adventures of Interdimensional Superheroes and What Not and So Forth.

These sorts of things are cool for me, of course, and for some of my readers, and I'd certainly say it's just my thing to mix erotica with wacky sci-fan plotlines, but ultimately, its getting to a point where the sex is actually kind of getting in the way of the story I want to tell. Which is odd, because without the erotic aspect, there wouldn't be a story. Or perhaps more accurately, the erotica is certainly there as a necessary component, and yet, I find myself rushing through the sex scenes in order to proceed with the plot/character/story, etc. This is exemplified by at least some of my current projects starting off with the intent to be fun sex stories, and then suddenly going into darker, more complicated territory in which, by the time you get into the second half, sex no longer has a place in the plot. Not that the story ideas are bad in and of themselves, it's just that that kind of radical tonal shift feels too much like a bait-and-switch; you go in to see long fun scenes of psychic teasing and magical sex, and instead you end up nose diving into a superhero punch-up plot or a monster invasion adventure plot.

On top of that, I'm one of those people who tends to get very single minded about things, and it's therefore very easy to get too consumed with projects, and very easily burnt out on them. This is especially true of erotic stories and pornographic material. While I wouldn't say I have a destructive porn addiction, as my enjoyment of porn does not interfere with my social or work life, the fact remains that when I spend two weeks trying to work on an erotica story, looking at porn to help keep me in the mood to work on the story (which usually helps me focus for the teasing and sex scenes, in my case), and taking breaks doesn't actually help because I keep feeling that nagging need to go back and finish the project... well, nothing really gets done and in the end, I just feel emotionally drained and dissatisfied with the work thus far.

Of course, the bitch of it is, I've only recently begun the ebooking thing, and now that I've got that under way, I feel a pressure to create material simply because now I have the monetary motivation. But that adds the sort of mental stigma that "now its a job, and now you have at least try to be quasi-professional about it", when before, part of the joy of erotica writing for me was the fact that it was easy to just blurt stuff out, dump it on the web and see if anyone commented.

So, I dunno how long a break this'll be. It could be that in a couple of days, I'll suddenly get a break through and complete a story or two to post up, but probably not. I just know that right now, for my own good, I really need to get my head out of the gutter for a while. Eventually, I'm sure I'll come back to finish some projects, and maybe I'll still post another Just A Little Scene here or there, but it could be a little while.

Thanks for enjoying my work thus far everyone, and I hope to entertain you some more in the future. Caio! :)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

You Know, It's Funny...

When writing dialogue for sex scenes, or even during moments of emotional duress, you're quite often going to use a handful of similar phrases. Other than the all-purpose uber-word "fuck", I find myself using "God", "Jesus", "Christ", or some combination thereof a lot of the time. Just the sort of dialogue I grew up with I guess.

Here's the funny thing about writing stories in a clearly otherworldly setting like Civero: there was never a Jesus Christ on Civero, and there was never a "God" in the sense of the Judeo-Christian monotheistic deity. Ergo, every time I find myself using those terms to display someone being in shock, or babbling in exquisite pleasure-torture, I have to keep reminding myself not to use those phrases for any Civero stories. And that's when I realize how abundantly they get used. I usually substitute "God" for "gods" if I can't think of a better word, but otherwise try to stick with other four-letter terms. I could go the route of some fantasy writers and have the characters utter the names of some Civeron figure of legend or myth, but honestly I figure that would be too distracting, especially in a sex scene.

Writing is a funny set of quirks.