For the past few years, about three or four times a year, I have debated quitting doing erotica for good. I never really took those feelings too seriously no matter how strongly I felt it at the time, because my mood on the subject flips back and forth regularly, and it was just part of my creative cycle to have down times in order to recuperate the energy for the up times. Every time I thought I was honest to god, for real, absolutely done with it, within a month or three, my muse would come back around to throw her empty booze bottles at my brain, and all of a sudden, a bunch of stories would burst forth, and I wondered why I ever thought I would actually quit.
By contrast, there’s been several times where I also came to the conclusion that erotica is clearly my destiny, that it’s what I’ll be writing forever, nothing else I try to do ever goes anywhere anyway, and I should just embrace it with full abandon. These are the times I had sudden big bursts of inspiration, did a lot of work over an extended time period, and really tried to push myself to take the “content creator” mindset. And every time, of course, I eventually flamed out, going back on hiatus and thinking that that was the last ride.
Rinse, repeat, year after year. But this time feels different.
It’s telling to me that a lot of my projects in the last couple years have been me wrapping up various series and finally knocking some long-overdue stories off the backlog. That I find myself more often than not in these recent stories including sex scenes more out of obligation than out of passion. That the biggest project I’ve worked on in this time became a vessel to help me process some sort of Writer’s Midlife Crisis.
I think something fundamental has faded within me, and as someone whose drive has primarily come from within, keeping going is like trying to force an engine to run without gas. Sometimes, a little trickle of fuel condenses in the tank just enough to spark the ignition, and allow me to sputter the car along for another few miles, but that’s as far as I seem to get before the engine dies again. I do feel like a few of my best stories have come out of these past couple years, and that I’ve been able to make some truly interesting work, even if it wasn’t very well polished. But I also have to admit that some of that work I
really had to force myself to get out, to a level I’ve not had to before.
A variety of factors have contributed to this: repeated mental and physical health setbacks, general decline in libido as I get older, tapping the well dry after being at this for going on fifteen years (over twenty, actually, counting the stories I wrote before I took the Salamando name), my interests shifting over time, getting back into art as a creative outlet recently, having to relearn time and again that I’m not a “content creator” type, my attitudes on certain things shifting over time. It’s all really come to head this year, and I think, despite past experiences with the up-and-down cycle, I have crossed a threshold this time that I’m not coming back from.
Truthfully, I’ve been ready to move on for a while. I’ve just been afraid to. Afraid to let go of the one creative endeavor of mine that’s ever seen any real success. Afraid of letting go of the one truly “original” idea I ever came up with, when novelty is a dragon I’ve chased my entire creative life. I’m afraid of losing my audience. I’m afraid of losing the supplemental income (however small) that I could theoretically gain from potentially making more ebooks and games and art set in my worlds, some day, eventually, maybe. I said in my last announcement that I still had some erotica left in me, but while that isn’t untrue, part of that was me trying to forcibly hype myself back up, and it didn’t really work. No matter how much I wish I could keep it running, no amount of kicking and pushing and whipping the car is going to make up for an empty tank.
Some creators can genuinely work on one project their entire lives and never lose the passion for it, even if they suffer an occasional slump. The majority of creators tend to work in phases, where they might spend several years dedicated to a project, but eventually, they hit a stopping point, and it’s time to move on. I’m definitely in this latter camp. It’s been the same with my genre fiction projects; no matter how much they meant to me at the time, going by past measures, I think most of my creative projects have about a maximum ten year life span, usually far shorter, before I move onto something else. My erotica as a whole has lasted me much longer, but even within that, I did a lot of different series and settings and shifted across different mediums to keep things fresh. But starting new projects isn’t enough anymore.
So I think it’s time. I’m officially tendering my
“Retirement”* from erotica.
Of course, I say that with quotation marks and an asterisk for a reason. Even now, when I’m feeling confident enough in my decision to actually post this announcement after letting it sit in my drafts folder for over a year, I still don’t want to claim that I will never write another erotica work ever again. Someday, I might get in the mood to write down another Little Scene or make another Comic. I might get an idea for another ebook that I decide is worth doing. I still have ideas every once in a while, it’s just that at this point, everything feels like tired retreads of what came before, or it’s ideas I actively dislike, and I don’t have the interest, energy, or enthusiasm to pursue them anymore.
Someday the spark might come back and burn just hot enough to get something new out, but all I can say is, don’t hold your breath, and don’t set your expectations too high. I’m saying “Retirement”* instead of “indefinite hiatus” for a reason, because I don’t want to leave the impression that I’m just biding time to build up to another comeback. I’m considering myself done, as far as my own expectations for myself go, and part of me genuinely
wants to be done. But if down the road, the muse swings by and slips some fuel into my tank, I won’t be opposed to taking another spin for old time’s sake. Are you sick of the car metaphor yet? Good. If I have to suffer it, so do you! :V
Before I go, I want to thank all of you who’ve taken the time to read my work. I want to thank everyone who left a comment, whether it be praise, criticisms, questions, or suggestions. I want to thank everyone who bought a book or game or donated to my Patreon when it was active. I want to thank everyone who spread the word of my work and linked people back to my stories. I want to thank all the writers, artists, image captioners, voice actors, and roleplayers who ran with their own ideas on Sex Mages and spread the concept even further. Even if my primary motivator for writing is my own internal drivers, all of your support has made all this worth it, and helped me keep these stories coming for as long as they have. It feels a little silly to say that out of all my projects, my erotica has turned out to be my life’s work, but it’s true. It’s been a fun ride.
I have a few more decisions left to mull over regarding my work, but
Sex Mages and Other Strangeness will stay online for as long as I’m able to facilitate it. In the still-non-zero chance Blogspot follows through on a future NSFW purge, I’ll find some other place to re-upload my stories, but I think we’ll be good for a while yet. My Smashwords and Itch.io pages will remain up as well, and as always, I very much appreciate your support. If you wish to contact me, you can always e-mail me at salamando_flames@yahoo.com.
Thanks again and take care of yourselves!
Well I want to say thank you for all your work and writings throughout the years. I guess we all eventually move on the other things in life. But you are an excellent writer and hope you continue to write other stories for people to read. Maybe something with drama! You seem good at that, giving what you write here. (Just In My Opinion)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! :)
DeleteI do intend to keep writing other types of stories, as well as continuing to draw. Adventure stories with superhuman characters has been my obsession in fiction, and while I've always struggled a lot more with writing that stuff than with my erotica, I haven't given up on it. It's just a matter of finding new projects to focus on.
Awesome! Glad to hear it. Cannot wait to see what you write of "Adventure stories with superhuman characters" :D
DeleteThank you for everything Salamando! You deserve to go out in your own terms.
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteWhat if…
ReplyDeleteI do like your stories and I hope you can continue to write. Maybe follow a slightly new path.
The litRPG genre is hot right now. Best list I have found on Amazon is https://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/digital-text/158587011/ref=pd_zg_hrsr_digital-text
I noticed that new ideas for stories seem to be popular in the litRPG genre. When Sean Oswald wrote Watcher's Test: A LitRPG Saga (Life in Exile Book 1) it seemed to do well. It's about a whole family transported into a world with a system. That had not been done (as far as I know) in that genre yet.
Why not do the peanut butter cup theory (2 good ideas that go great together).
For instance, what if there is a system apocalypse, but only females get the system. Or maybe a family from our earth is transported to such a world that has always had a system - but only females have it. What drama could ensue.
May require a new pen name.
Haha, I'm quite familiar with the LitRPG trend! It's something I've considered, but I dunno if it's really up my alley. I have a few ideas for female-only power systems as well (that aren't necessarily sex-dependent), but I don't really have a good narrative to use them in.
DeleteAs it stands, the genre is full to bursting, so just like with writing this stuff, I don't really see my work standing out in the absolute ocean of extant and growing content in this genre.
Thanks for the thought, though.
In 1993 Aaron Allston (December 8, 1960 – February 27, 2014) wrote Galatea in 2-D. A fantasy novel in which the hero discovers that his drawings can be brought to life. Unfortunately, he lets this slip to The Rival who sets out to eliminate him.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.amazon.com/Galatea-2-D-Aaron-Allston/dp/0671721828/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=3TBJYFW334HPG&keywords=Galatea+in+2-D&qid=1668875903&sprefix=%2Caps%2C438&sr=8-1
This is still the best story I have read in the Art Initiates Life trope. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArtInitiatesLife
The story had a lot of erotic potential. If he had drawn a succubus, things might have followed a different path.
Mr. Allston also wrote a series - first book titled Doc Sidhe. It might be described as "Doc Savage with Elves." Doc Savage was a 1930's superhero.
https://www.amazon.com/Doc-Sidhe-Aaron-Allston/dp/0671876627/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=1WVT2D798VXI&keywords=Doc+Sidhe&qid=1668878370&sprefix=doc+sidhe%2Caps%2C478&sr=8-1
The idea of taking an old superhero or super heroine and reframing him/her in a slightly different genre is another idea.
Oh man, it will be sad to see you go, but do what you need to do to protect your mental health!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny about saying this will be your life's work- I think the vast majority of people who think about folks like you and me after we're gone will remember us by our erotic writing!
Thanks for all you did- your sex magic rules inspired MUCH of the stuff I did- it was the perfect mix of hot and powerful but not TOO powerful, but still PRETTY powerful that was a huge undiscovered country of femdom writing until you found it! Writers will be planting their seeds into that field long after you are gone, so feel proud of that.
Safe travels, man, hope to see you at a convention or something some day.
Thanks, man! That means a lot! :)
DeleteSeeing you take your own spin on the ideas and flesh out your own library of work did help light a fire under my ass to keep at my own erotica for longer than I might have, and explore more angles than I had initially been willing to do! I think you and I had a nice mutual inspiration/galvanization cycle going there. Good luck to you on your own continuing erotica journey!
Haha, yeah, in a decade or two, let's table at a con together after whatever future streaming version of Skinemax makes a multi-million dollar series based on Sex Mages. :V
I forgot to mention that the main character in Galatea in 2-D also could go into (or send someone else into) the world of his paintings.
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention, I already do have a story somewhat in the works based around these sorts of ideas. It's a trope I like to explore once in a while.
DeleteIf it's a book or graphic novel I'll look forward to buying it.
DeleteDefinitely earned it, man! Thanks for the hours of entertainment and best believe I'll be checking back here every few months to see if inspiration struck.
ReplyDeleteBTW I always thought you'd be a good mystery writer in case you feel like switchin' genres.
Thanks for reading!
DeleteHa, I've tried mystery, I couldn't write it to save my life! Same with horror and mundane drama stories. Science-fantasy adventure schlock featuring superhuman characters is pretty much my only wheelhouse.
So you have some ideas on plots already. But you need some ideas on narrative.
ReplyDeleteLike what motivation, personality, and what perspectives the main and side characters would have given an unusual situation.The backstory, dreams, relationships, etc.
Most people would run - but what if the main character has enough passion to push through or cannot run.
For that I found this Characters page on TV Tropes.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Characters
And
Characterization Tropes
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterizationTropes
And
Narrative Tropes
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NarrativeTropes
Free idea:
Magic or dual cultivation + Uncle from Another World + Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro
Woman from our earth goes to another world where some form of magic for women or maybe dual cultivation ( gives power to body with some special form of sex ) is a thing. Different abilities given to men versus women (you decide what abilities). She comes back to our earth and introduces it here. Result = drama.
Also found this.
DeleteDefinition and Examples of Narratives in Writing
https://www.thoughtco.com/narrative-composition-term-1691417
I appreciate the desire to help, but please, no more suggestions or links to TV Tropes or other writing articles. I've got plenty of writing advice resources at my disposal, and people tossing their ideas at me has never helped jumpstart my creativity any faster. I know you're just trying to help, but I don't like being pushed this much.
DeleteI've got a lot of backlogged stuff I want to try and work through before tackling new material, and I'd like to get away from sex-based content for a little while. I'm also not really into cultivation/LitRPG stories. I've read some good ones, but it's not a genre I get excited for anymore, so that's not really a direction I want to go in.
Hi Salamando,
ReplyDeleteThank you for all the stories you have written over the year! I hope you will be successful in whatever endeavors you choose to purse in the future!
I do have one question: I recall at some point you did write some stories detailing some of the monster women concept that eventually was used in your CYOA book (like the Flesh Slime or the Azure Elf...). However, I could not find those posts anywhere. Do you still have them somewhere?
Thank you very much!
DeleteI believe you are looking for the Jahi's Invasion entries. I pulled all the individual entries and collected everything into a couple of RPG books, which you can download on my Smashwords or Itch.io pages. "Jahi's Invasion" and "Ishtar's Salvation" are the books with all the monster entries (the latter is the follow-up). They are pick-your-price, so you can get them for free if you wish, or pay whatever you like as a tip.
Smashwords link is here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/byseries/37847
Tabitha's Tease was my first book sale, and I very much enjoyed writing it and its sequels, but even back when Masquerade was paying $1500 advances, it wasn't enough to call it more than hobby income.
ReplyDeleteSince then, I've sold a few mainstream novels and several RPG products, and while the money is better than in erotica, it still isn't a living wage. I moved into nonfiction, where actually being able to write puts you ahead of the game. While my income as a professional writer never exceeded $25k/year, I was able to leverage that into a speaking and consulting practice that earns substantially more. Fiction gets the attention, but nonfiction is 80% of the book market and also provides collateral income.
Like a rock band that makes far more money touring than from album sales, nonfiction writers can speak or teach on their topics. If you pick the right topic, fiction writers can speak as well. I know a guy who writes westerns (not exactly a big commercial field these days) who gets paid to give speeches on the Old West and sells his books in the back of the room for extra money.
There are loads of jobs for people with decent writing skills, from editing and tech writing to corporate communications. My income as a writer never exceeded $25k a year, but being a Real Published Author has opened doors that have paid pretty well over the last few decades.
Sal, I've enjoyed your work for many years and I feel your pain. If I can help, or you'd like to talk with someone who's been there, drop me an email (wilde.robin@gmail.com).
Cheers and happy holidays,
RW
Thank you, Robin! I've always appreciated your support! :)
DeleteI'm glad to hear you were able to leverage your writing skill into better opportunities. I know nonfiction is far and away the bigger market, but having looked into it, I don't think that sort of writing or doing speaking gigs is really the path for me, honestly. But I can't really predict the future, and I'll keep this advice in mind. Thank you!
Hey Sal, just a suggestion. Have you thought of maybe adding your stories to an interactive writing site like https://chyoa.com/ ? There you can add you stories with as many paths as you like and also open it for others to take their own paths with it and see what they write as well. Just a suggestion because I figure if you retire, why not let others continue to build on what you wrote :D
ReplyDeleteI'm familiar with the site, and I think a couple people have already started some Sex Mage style stories of their own there. It's an interesting format, I've done a couple short CYOA type books myself, but not anything website based. Personally, I'd rather have contained books for the format.
DeleteWhile I'm fine with people making their own Sex Mage stories, I am not fine with any random person just continuing directly off the stories I've already written. So I would encourage people who want to do Sex Mage CYOAs to come up with their own scenarios and characters for them.
I've been trying to find one of your stories but I can't remember the title. It involved a girl wrestling her brother and at some point, the brother was taken to some sort of institution. Also, there was a character named "Hutch" or something similar that was the sister's friend.
ReplyDeleteThat was actually one of PFDee's stories, in his Miranda's Clinic series. I forget which chapter, but you can find it on his website.
DeleteI found it. I appreciate the help. I guess I just assumed it was your story because I didn't know there were any other writers using the sex mage concept.
DeleteYeah, there's been the very occasional "fan fic" of my work over the years, but PFDee has been doing his own version of Sex Mages since pretty much the beginning. He's definitely the more professional writer between the two of us, too. He's generally much more focused on family femdom and humiliation femdom in specific, and his brand of "Sex Powers" tends to be more restrained than my take, but I recommend anybody who enjoys his work to check out his as well.
DeleteThank you for all of the wonderful adventures. First found you 2012ish. Great works! Peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, glad you enjoyed the stories!
Delete